Sunday, August 5, 2012

"I wanted to alarm it, like I said, but..."

...I didn't because I'm a jerk.

This jerk wanted to capture an alligator devouring a bobcat. If he had wanted to alarm it, he could have, although maybe he couldn't because he was just so "breathless" from the graceful movements of the stalking 'gator.



Personally I can not STAND all the videos from Planet Earth, National Geographic, or this backyard Crocodile Dumb-dee that show animals being hunted, eaten, starved, dying.

One of you morons behind the camera DO SOMETHING! Nature has the advantage. There will be plenty of death and pain and despair without you standing there letting it happen for the camera.

I know...I know...then there would not be a show. I don't care. I hate all those shows.


15 comments:

  1. I hate those types of shows. Asshole cameramen filming some animal being butchered, while they watch in fascination.

    I bet they'd have a different opinion if the prey was their child and they were watching the gator dragging them screaming into the water.

    Dickheads!

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    1. EXACTLY! What is it with people? That video showed his precious little 5 year old daughter. Take a picture of HER being dragged off in the jaws of the alligator, asshole.

      He knew he was a dickhead, too. That's why he had to defend himself by saying he WANTED to alarm it...only he didn't.

      Delete
  2. "We respect the animals and they respect us."

    WTF? The animals look at you like meat on legs, and your kids even more.

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    1. Sooooo glad someone else caught that remark at the end! I wanted to mention it, but just stayed with my single rant. They RESPECT us? Really?

      Yup. The animals look at your kids like SLOW meat on legs. Good LORD! What a ditwad. Reminds me of the FAR SIDE cartoon where the crocodiles are lying on the bank next to a pair of swim trunks, rubbing their bellies and saying, "Wow...all pink and juicy...no claws or teeth or anything."

      Delete
    2. BTW, Kurt, a VERY SPECIAL SPARKLY THANKS for being one of the very first blogs to put me on their blogroll. I am getting such a big kick out of this whole writing thang. Doesn't mean squat in my "real" life, but I am loving it, especially when I have people I've read for years stop in and "recommend" me. So thanks!!

      Delete
    3. I just wish I would have found you sooner!

      I'd mention who's blogroll I found you on, but can't remember.

      Delete
    4. Soon enough! I've only been at this since March. I've been reading blogs for the last decade, but never was one to leave comments. Just a stalker. Figured it was time to come out of the "closet". The Drinking Closet, as Rachel Lucas dubbed it. LMAO!

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  3. Number 1: I despise those animal shows too and can't watch them. If I am forced to watch one, I can only sit there the whole time saying "WHY ISN'T THE CAMERAMAN HELPING?!?!?!" Sometimes obviously he can't help but this video you posted is a perfect example of when they can, and don't. Assholes.

    Number 2: You should be on everyone's blogroll. You'd be at the top of mine if I had one. I don't know why I don't have one anymore; probably because there are really only about 10 or fewer blogs I would ever want to put on it because I truly only read your blog and 5 or 6 others. What I oughta do is just link in posts more often to what is cracking me up on those blogs.

    Number 3: Seriously, "The Drinking Closet - A Novel of Despair". Best-seller these days, I tell you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. 1. Ditto. Obviously.
      2. My blogroll is there for me. Keeps me bouncing around the internet.
      3. "The Drinking Closet - An Adult Novel of Despair and Libation." Makes it sound racy. People would buy it thinking it was like "50 Shades of Gray". HAHAHA!

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  4. Didn't watch the video. I will only watch it when I know the feline wins. Now, if the croc's mate were stalking the cameraman, that would have been an ending I'd watch. The camera falling to the side, a bloody hand reaching helplessly past the lens...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. SPOILER ALERT! The bobcat gets away.

      It's narrow escape was in no way facilitated by the asshole, though.

      Eating the cameraman!?!? Pure, unadulterated awesomeness. YouTube GOLD, man!

      Delete
  5. On a related note, Fred Reed has a new column up, entitled "Fido Reconsidered" at
    http://www.fredoneverything.net/Fido_Reconsidered.shtml (I don't know how the hell to make this into a link).
    Anyway, if we're going to revel in animal snuff flicks, why not the next logical step, animal porn.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. OMG! Lambert, that site is fabulous!! I'm going to be there reading his stuff for the rest of the day.

      Have you seen Zoo? Flat out creepy. What is even more twisted than the event is the way a filmmaker attempts to "understand" and make it beautiful. Truly we are doomed.

      That being said, there's always been your goat love...

      Shepherds love their sheep, and cowboys love their horses...but cowboys have to be a lot taller.

      END THE OPPRESSION! ANIMALS NEED LOVE TOO!

      Oh...and the necrophilia thing. It's already Islamic law. Yup. Not kidding.

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  6. Holy Smokes am I behind the times! "Creepy" is an insufficient adjective for Zoo. Appalling, maybe approaches it. Goat love is the old joke: "The Arabs invented the condom made from sheep's intenstines. The British perfected the invention by removing the intestines from the sheep first." Fred's a good read. His DC crime novels are fun -- and cheap, too, on Kindle. Happy reading!

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    1. I heard about Zoo on a radio station, The Armstrong and Getty Show. Those guys are hysterical and cover everything. Joe was going on about this movie and how it had a horse in it so maybe he should take his 14 year old daughter...because she just LOVES horse movies. I as laughing so hard I had to pull over.

      But can you grasp just how sick society is becoming? This movie won all kinds of acclaim at the Sundance Film Festival. We're doomed, I tell you. Doooooooomed.

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